My street smells like peaches
in the middle of the night
when I’m drunk
Or perhaps that’s just what I imagine
so tired of the scents of
crowded bars and cigarettes
and stuffy cabs on
humid nights so withering
that I forget it’s autumn and not
the middle of summer
as I stumble over darkened
root-fingers that want me to stay
and sit among the leaves
and scampering anoles
and tell tall tales about the night
I was accosted by the peach trees
2 comments:
feels unfinished ?
I enjoyed the poem. I liked the circular progression through to completion. I have one negative and that is the use of 'withering' in that spot right after 'humid nights so'. 'Withered' implies 'sere, dried out' to me. I think the perfect word for that spot is 'weltering'. Check the def:
. wel·tered, wel·ter·ing, wel·ters
1. To wallow, roll, or toss about, as in mud or high seas.
2. To lie soaked in a liquid.
3. To roll and surge, as the sea.
It works on three levels. Can't get much better.
Steve
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